Oh the paper and the ribbon Where did I put them now?
I swear if I don’t find them I’m going to have a cow .
O the wrapping of the presents
And the spreading of good cheer
I am sick of all this clutter
You’ll just get gift cards next year
Do we have everyone’s address?
Do we have the stamps to send?
I’ve been to the post office twice today
And I shall not go again
O the wrapping of the presents
and the sending of the cards
Did you see Jerry added ten more
Inflatables in his yard
We have cash to tip the postman,
and the neighbors get cupcakes
We’ll fancy up some store boughts, there’s no more that I shall bake
O the wrapping of the presents
and the cooking of the treats
I finished off the eggnog
with a basket of smoked meats
Regifting to the in-laws that dreadful tea towel set
That Auntie bought at Kohls
from the clearance rack I bet
O the wrapping of the presents
and the hiding of the tag
If it doesn’t fit just return it
The receipt is in the bag.
We do this every damn year,
there’s no way to escape
I need to run to target,
we’re completely out of tape
O the wrapping of the presents
And the spreading of good cheer
I am sick of all this clutter
You’ll just get scratch offs next year
I turned to my sister in the car
“Did you fear what I fear?”
(do you fear what I fear?)
In the back seat from our Grandma’s house
“Do you fear what I fear?”
(do you fear what I fear?)
The toot and squeak of Pierogi farts arrive
We’re ten minutes into a 3 hour drive
And we’re ten minutes into a 3 hour drive
I pull some gum out of my winter coat
“Can I have some gum too?”
(can I have some gum too?)
The flavor will be gone before you know
“Can I have some gum too?”
(can I have some gum too?)
Mom turns around, "You’re chewing way too loud
Gum in the car is not allowed
Gum in the car is not allowed!"
Then mom lights another cigarette
“Can I crack the window?”
(can I crack the window?)
She coughs and dad farts once again
“Can I crack the window?
(can I crack the window?)"
He coughs and drives, says “Just enjoy the ride
I want to keep the heat inside!
I want to keep the heat inside!”
My sister takes off her winter boots
“Do you smell what I smell?”
(do you smell what I smell?)
She kicks them to my side of the car
“Do you smell what I smell?”
(do you smell what I smell?)
She kicks Dad’s seat, it stinks like butt and feet
As we drive through 4 inches of sleet
As we drive through 4 inches of sleet
about
These holiday songs are presented to help out a family in need. The Handley Family are experiencing a medical emergency and all proceeds from this limited release will be donated to them.
These tracks may appear on a future release as part of a larger album, but are presented here in hopes that they may bring cheer to a family who can use the love and support of friends.
